I Will Live As An Actor Chapter 54

I Will Live as an Actor Episode 54

The countryside is so quiet that even the village office requires a car ride. The silver grasses that occupy the estuary sway quietly along the rice fields ripening with golden waves. Director Shin Seong-hyun is preparing a late lunch in the kitchen as soon as he returns to his hometown. Side dishes, including fried eggs, are arranged neatly in old bowls on silver trays.

“Why bother preparing it? Just boil a pot of ramen and eat it.”

“When you get old, you shouldn’t take care of your health. I’m tired of coming back to my hometown and eating ramen every time. And throw away the expired food. It all dries out. What’s this dust? It’s not like it’s advertised as a widower living alone, but if someone who doesn’t know it sees it, it’s a waste of money. “I can think about it.”

“If you’re going to nag me, go up to Seoul again and get some of the leftover soju from that cupboard.”

“Stop drinking soju. You said that at the hospital too. My father’s liver is not good, so don’t drink alcohol anymore.”

“Why do you believe that quack? So, don’t waste your money on useless things. It’s the right thing to do when you die. It’s the best thing in the world to take care of everything.”

Eventually, the father heads to the cupboard. However, is it because of the bent back? Even touching the cupboard with your wrinkled fingers seems like a struggle. My father’s back, which used to be infinitely wide, now feels thin. Director Shin Seong-hyeon has no choice but to stand up and take out a soju bottle and a soju glass.

“You’re only going to have one drink.”

“Oh, I get it. Why does it seem like you’re nagging me even though you’re not married? By the way, is that movie you’re making these days going well?”

My father asks while sipping a glass of soju. It feels like a bitter gourd sparingly consuming a tonic.

“When have I ever been good? It just flows like water.”

“Seonghyun, don’t be like that, learn a skill. You need to learn a skill before it’s too late so you don’t have to worry about it. When you returned from the military and went around making movies, you talked as if you would become famous right away. Now look, you’re all getting old and you’re stubborn and can’t even get married. “I wonder who you resemble so much that you’re so stubborn. That’s why you can’t get married. I’ve never been good at looking after my grandchildren in my life.”

“Why are you bringing up that story? A man told me not to go because he didn’t have money to take care of it when I got married. Also, a woman might come here and like it. It’s good if she doesn’t get surprised when a ghost appears.”

Director Shin Seong-hyun shoves a fried egg into his mouth. When I see my father alone in the countryside, I feel very uncomfortable. My father always tried to take me to Seoul, but he was always against it.

Why are you leaving your hometown when you’re about to die? Director Shin Seong-hyeon knows what’s going on, so he doesn’t fuss anymore. In fact, there is no way to come to Seoul. He is also a well-spoken director, but commercially speaking, he is no different from an unknown person.

“Father, I’m going.”

“I’m sorry, Seonghyun.”

“Why are you suddenly feeling weak? I left my allowance in the cupboard, so only buy cold food and don’t buy soju. I told Mr. Kim at the store not to sell soju, so you know that’s the case. Don’t come out because the autumn wind is cold.”

An old car drives down a dirt road. The autumn silver grass at each estuary sways in a complex way, as if expressing director Shin Seong-hyeon’s heart.

* * *

“England, are you really not going to Phuket?”

CEO Kim Seong-hwan even takes his stance forward and asks the question again.

“Producer Kim contacted me to ask me to think again. I heard that the last episode had the highest viewership rating of 40.9% per minute. The drama department also said that it would not just be a reward vacation, but a 5-star hotel. Anyway, I’m going for about a week. England is good for you to have a short break.”

“It’s okay. If anything, I just get a headache when I fly.”

“No, a kid who has only been on a plane a few times is just worried.”

I didn’t know why CEO Kim Seong-hwan came forward and asked me to take a reward vacation. In general, it would have been better for the actor to plow (act) without resting like an ox.

However, he is an artist before he is the CEO of an agency. I’m worried that I might get tired easily if I run without taking a break. Moreover, if you look at it from the outside, you are still a high school student.

“By the way, how did you meet the Japanese fans?”

To change the topic, I remembered what I had promised earlier. Didn’t you say Yubi Kiri (ゆびきり) in front of the Japanese fans who came to the filming site?

“Other actors only think about going out after their work is over, but how come England, you only think about your next project or your fans? Do you still read fan letters regularly and even reply to them these days?”

“Of course. It’s hard to read. I’m trying to reply as much as I can, but it’s hard to do everything.”

“I heard that fan service is really annoying.”

Have you never received a fan letter in your past life? It is not easy to receive a heartfelt letter from someone. This is a reply to a fan letter that I started to repay that gratitude. One of the fans who received it submitted it to the media, which became a hot topic. In addition to being the nation’s first love, the image of an actor with a lot of love for fans was also added unintentionally.

“First of all, I plan to gather not only Japanese fans but also domestic fans and do it all at once, but even if I say it in grandiose terms, the number of people will not be that large. It would be burdensome to gather too many from the beginning. I will adjust the schedule later and let you know.”

“You’re probably busy, so you don’t have to tell me this directly. You can tell me through Bongchun or other managers. Since the CEO does this every time, Bongchun thinks I’m the CEO’s right hand man, right?”

“What’s wrong? Or do you want to do the left arm?”

This is CEO Kim Seong-hwan, who speaks jokingly. The size of Songwon Entertainment is still not very large. That’s also true, when CEO Hwang Cheol-soo was investigated by the prosecution, didn’t a lot of actors from that line leave?

Since there weren’t that many actors to begin with, there are even fewer of them now. However, I have no doubt that soon this small agency will be filled with Korean stars.

“England, and you need to prepare a personal prayer?”

“A personal skill?”

“Do you think a fan meeting is just a place where actors sit and communicate with fans? If they want to see their fans, they sing and dance. So, why did you make such a loud statement to Japanese fans? Lately, I’ve been getting inquiries from overseas. “I’m dying. There’s no one to interpret for me, but I’m so sincere in answering questions from Japanese fans, even consulting a Japanese dictionary.”

I feel like I suddenly get a headache even though I haven’t been on a plane. Anyway, I have never had a fan meeting in my past life. Not only was he not good at socializing, but he also had nothing to say about his personal skills. Because I only lived watching acting. In the end, he gets up from his seat as if running away.

“Are you trying to run away when I tell you about my personal skills? You don’t have any plans today?”

“Someone runs away. I will prepare my individual skills perfectly, so don’t worry. And why is there no schedule? Now I have to start my next project, so I have to prepare too.”

Representative Kim Seong-hwan thinks as he looks at the distant backdrop of England. No matter how you look at it, didn’t you recruit one actor well? An actor doesn’t have to be good at acting. Because there are fans, the profession of an actor can exist. In that sense, Boy (England) is an actor who deserves the love of fans.

* * *

Even the sound of the engine is sickly, like the acrid smoke. Not only the exterior but even the interior is rusted here and there. The seats are full of a musty, moldy smell, and because they have been carrying people for so long, they feel like they are hugging the body. Director Shin Seong-hyun, who was holding the steering wheel, glanced to the side and elaborated.

“Actor Jang, it’s already been ten years since I’ve been with this guy. I only kept it because it was a closet license, but these days, the assistant director encourages me to drive it once in a while, but since it was a used car when I brought it in, I can’t help but feel bad about driving it. The car is very old. ?”

“No, this is enough to ride around. What?”

It’s not a lie. In my past life, when I was moving from job to job, I always walked to filming locations to save on transportation costs. This is a luxury for a subject that gets beaten up. Anyway, when I tried to turn on the air conditioner, warm air suddenly came out. A look of confusion flashes across Director Shin Seong-hyeon’s face, and I quietly roll down the passenger window.

“It would be great if all actors were as motivated as Actor Jang. As a director, I am grateful that he gave up the overseas vacations that everyone else said he wanted to go on and prepared his next work like this.”

“Of course, the next work comes first. That’s why I get help from the director like this.”

Character interview.

Before filming a movie, actors must understand the characters in the script. In your past life, wasn’t there a time when you visited a former gangster to take on the role of a gangster? It was the same now as well. I also visited the archdiocese to learn about priests, but I felt that it was not enough. To know the inner self of the protagonist. Eventually, an old car enters the countryside.

“It used to be a village. Nowadays, everyone has moved out to other places and there are only a few people left. Even then, there are only elderly people, so it may disappear soon.”

It looks quite different from a fishing village. Instead of the fish and rippling waves of the South Port, you can see the smell of cow dung coming from livestock farms and the golden ripening rice fields in the rice fields. There are endless old cars driving along the winding dirt road. The silver grass at the entrance of the village shakes vigorously as if welcoming him.

“Director, I came to see the undertaker. Is there a reason you came all the way here?”

Anyway, when director Shin Seong-hyun first said he would help me interview people, I thought I was going to meet a funeral director located near Seoul. I never dreamed that I would take the highway like this and end up in a quiet countryside.

“Actor Jang wanted to understand the character, so when I was writing the script, I wanted to show him someone he considered a role model. The main character’s father was an undertaker.”

“You said you had a role model?”

“of course.”

This is a fact I didn’t know even when I was crazy about the screenplay ‘Confessions of a Priest’ in my past life. This means that it was something that director Shin Seong-hyun did not disclose to the outside world. At that time, at the top of the hill, a hunched old man spots a car and tilts his head.

“There you are, my father.”

* * *

The furnace is rusty because it is not in use, and the bare tree branches hold the magpie nest. It is a country house with traces of time as evident as a yellowed calendar. Director Shin Seong-hyeon’s father exhales a puff of cigarette smoke and elaborates.

“So you want to know about the undertaker?”

The wrinkled eyes around the eyes look as deep in worry as the end of the burning end of the year. In order to understand the psychology of the main character in the script, it is necessary to look at his motivation as to why he became insensitive to death. Soon, cigarette ash falls on the rusty ashtray.

“It’s a hard job. I don’t know if it’s still like that these days, but back in my day, if an unrelated body was found, we had to go and clean it up ourselves. There’s an old saying, right? A ghost that ate and died is good for dirt. You’re all lies. People who died of starvation “People are actually noble people. People who were obese because they ate well during their lifetime decay at a different rate when they die. That’s why crematoriums often decided by weight. Because the original body rots quickly.”

Silently listen to the old man’s story.

“There are a lot of things I feel when I am mourning. At first, I trembled a lot and cried a lot. So why would I have to show such an indecent act in front of the bereaved family? At some point, as I gritted my teeth and did it, I became more and more numb. The dead people. “As I was bathing him, changing him into a shroud, and tying him up with salt cloth, I thought about a lot of things. No matter what wealth and honor I enjoyed during my lifetime, it was all in vain.”

His life story unfolds as if listening to an old man’s confession.

“Nowadays, it may not be the case because you need a certificate or go to an academy or something, but in the past, there was a huge shortage of workers. So, when your children grew up, most people worked together.”

“Then what about Director Shin Seong-hyeon?”

“That guy with a weak liver could have done that. Ordinary people can’t do it because their gall bladder is weak. If they do it, they’ll be sick for a few days. Also, superstitious people shouldn’t do it. If you rely on such trivial things, the face of the dead person will keep appearing in your mind.”

“What if a child had witnessed that scene?”

“You can call it that. I’ll blink and faint. That’s usually the case. There were many people who fainted while watching me try to become a funeral director for the first time. If a child was calmly watching it, one of two things would have happened. Either he’s a guy whose emotions have dried up, or he’s just that deep inside.” As

the end of the year came to a close, Director Shin Seong-hyeon’s father stood up from his seat.

The three of them had dinner together. Director Shin Seong-hyun’s eyes, which always looked sharp behind rimless glasses, were like those of his father. It is similar to. When director Shin Seong-hyeon headed to the kitchen after preparing dinner, his father suddenly grabbed his hand.

“My son said he would be the main character in a movie this time.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Please be kind to me.”

His wrinkled hands. Why do the mother’s images overlap? Even though they are father and son, they are two people who could not talk to each other. They may not know each other, but they care for each other knowingly or unknowingly. Just looking at director Shin Seong-hyun, it was the same. Filling the trunk of an old car with a refrigerator in a country house. It was full of ingredients for food. That’s probably why the engine made an even more sickly sound. As

soon as dinner was over, his father went to bed early like any other old man.

“Isn’t the scenery really nice here?”

Director Shin Seong-hyeon and I walked in the rice fields together. I sat down in a pavilion close to the building. The script was still in my hand. Director Shin Seong-hyun, who saw me, suddenly said,

“It’s not an autobiographical story. I simply used my father as a model because I had seen the profession of an undertaker since I was young. When I was young, I thought my father was a person without emotions.”

The autumn wind passes by the pavilion.

“But one day, I felt it. I guess my father was also a person with emotions. After my mother passed away in her hospital bed, my father personally took care of her death. As a child, I wanted to see my mother for the last time, so I went to where my father worked. I saw it then. My father, who had never shown any emotion until now, sobbed as he wiped the body of my dead mother. I knew then. My father is sad like me. The main character probably felt the same way as me. Of course, the direction in which we lived our lives was different. I brushed it off, but the main character lived with it deep inside.”

The rice paddies, which had been ripening to a golden color, soon lost their shine as dusk fell, causing waves as black as the night sea.

“Today’s story was a great help to Actor Jang . “I hope so.”

Director Shin Seong-hyeon leaves first. I sit alone in the pavilion and look at the streetlight that stands alone like a lonely lighthouse at the entrance to the countryside. At that moment, a sentence in the script in my hand that I didn’t understand comes into my eyes.

– No one is detached from death. Everything is just fading away.

Like a moth chasing a whitish light, I forgot about my happy life for a moment. Didn’t I decide to die in my past life too? The saying that no one is detached from death comes to mind. It reaches me. I, who was a bastard, also did the same in the face of my mother’s death.